Back to 100 emails in 4 days

Friday, October 21, 2005

100 emails in 4 days to the familia!

A landmark has been achieved. 100 emails were sent this past week. The subject? “Cranberry Chutney Rocked my lunch break” started by me–the 100th email was cat-girl. It should be noted that only six emails had anything even remotely to do with Cranberrys or Chutneys or lunch breaks. What does this say about us? We check our email atleast 30 times a day, on the hour every hour. None of us “edit the subject”. Here is a brief script of all the topics discussed in the 100 emails. Dont ask Y, for Y is only a crooked letter:)

-For lunch, I had a pretty mediocre sandwich made of soy nuggets, and this corn/bean/spinach/tomato sauce thing I made. But then I had some cranberry chutney with it, and it is d e l i c i o u s !! yummmyy in my tummy!! Trader Joe’s, people..Trader Joe’s… –sony-fishhhhhhhhhh is meat. ur name will be “sinner tommy” plus leena said that tuna contain mercury and u aint supposed to eat it. We dont even let nikki eat tuna bcoz it contains mercury. –jommy

-hahhahah i read it its funny sony every one should call each other gandu and spread the love don’t ya think? what turnip truck did you fall off… hahhahha foooooooooooooooooooooool –cat girl

-made my day too.. thanks sony ..and ofocurse thanks”Saale” ji. Now sony don’t ask me what the meaning ofSaale is .. i am sure joemon has a LOTR version ofthat too..–P-man

-there’s a dog named lucky who lives close to us and benny always pees on lucky’s fence…so this morning lucky was around when benny peed on the fence and lucky came and licked benny’s pee off the fence. my benny has got some tasty urine!!!–cat-girl

-did you all see 20/20 on friday..it was abt germs abt people actually thought dog has the cleanest saliva hjehe–joemon

-downloaded the Windows 2003 that jommy sent…I lovethe rar files..they are so tiny…The download tookseconds(I though it would take atleast 15 mins)..thenunzipped with 7-zip awesome!..all within 1 minute.Ofcourse Hail Jommy for leading an extereme life inthe seediest parts of the Internet and brining us thefruits of his labor –Dommer

That’s How the Malayalis Do It!

Say Yeahh!! **crowds…say yeahhh***

Okay Whatever.

Big Weekend this weekend. Joemon’s moving into his new home. July 4th is going down. And it’s a beautiful weekend (weather-wise) in DC!

So how do you bring auspicious joy and good cheer in your new home? Here’s some advice from Tommy:

Do the following:

1. Warm Milk (It must be whole milk – none of these 1% 2% milk..oh yeah it must be cow milk not goat, dog or human. You can substitute cat milk in emergency)

2. Drink it slowly and carefully. (Milk may be too hot)

3. Pray that all booths(Chegathans) from the house go away to the neighbours house.

4. Clean up the area and do the dishes.

End of Ceremony. Total time expected: 20 minutes

Record breaking!

Actual ear hair! Posting with full permission from Udaya Uncle

Fear and Loathing in Cochin

What happens to Thambukaran when a rather forward pretty girl falls down in a pretty dress and the cows come home….

Don’t Let This Happen to You!

Novel in progress

This is a start of a novel. Our team members will be adding more pages daily. stop by daily to get more….

Wierdness is all he had. He had been born in prison in 1985 at the Clark county detention center where his mother was imprisoned. Even though he was a two-horned devilish face–scaly and reddish–he had a kind heart and a sweet temperment. His mother was wrongly imprisoned for the crime of her neighbor.

chameli, where is your son? asked the other inmates. she replied, Raju is in the backyard playing cricket…The thought of Raju playing cricket had passed her mind before, she remembered the times when she was growing up in bombay, India how she and her brothers would play cricket. Suddenly, there was a loud rattling, Chameli woke up. She realized that she was in Clark County detention center and not in India and her son never played cricket. Infact her son, Raju didn’t even know what cricket was. Raju had grown up in various foster homes in U.S. and now was 21 years old. Chameli, wished Raju could have stayed with her, but she knew prison was not a safe place for a child to grow up.

She had not seen Raju for 20 years, when he had to be handed over to the husky-voiced warden. Chameli had cried and cried. Now for the first time in 21 years, Raju is coming back to visit her. Why? This question tormented Chamel’s brain and gave her high blood pressure and also gas.

She could handle high blood pressure, but she just hated having gas. She remembered back in India, she used to take Dabur Hajmola and enjoy the chatpata flavour. At Clark Country Detention center, she had requested Hajmola – however the attending physician who was an American Born Confused Desi (ABCD) didn’t know what it was. He had told her to instead smoke weed – which he prescibed immediately. Chameli hated the fact that she had to smoke weed, but being a disciplined person she had been smoking weed religiously every morning at 7:30 A.M. right after pooja in morning. But now she had Gas, why she thought? She wished she had some Dabur Hajmola. ‘If only Raju would bring some Hajmola for me’ she thought.

Dabur ka Hajmola had its chatpata taste and it made having gas a fun activity, especially in a place where the mundaness of prison life had taken over. Chameli decided she will have to talk to Raju about the urgency about this once he comes for a visit but for now other matters had to be resolved. Her prison-mate Angelina or Big A as everyone called her had taken a fancy towards her Indian beauty. Chameli was flattered and it had been years now that anyone had praised her for anything, however she didn’t really want anything more from Big A. A little bit of flirting was okay in her book of life, however playing ‘fondue’ with a woman wasn’t. The prison system was complicated, she could never deny Big A that would be something “sheikchilli” would do, that’s what her dear departed papa would say and that made sense..papa always made sense. For her, her papa with his 2nd std education was far superior than any man or woman she had ever met in her life. He was a nice man and it was nice being around him. If he had been alive, he would have tears in his eyes and he’d hug her and he’d be there for her regardless of where she was in life. It was 9 P.M. and the prison warden yelled out “lights out”..Pavlovian response took over as her eyelids drooped heavily against her sunken eyes.

She woke up at dawn at the sound of batton rattling like the sound of machine gun fire as it struck her door rapidly. Its was one of the guards announcing that it was day light and time to wake up. In the begining it used to bother her to wake up to the screaming and the chaos that ensued early in the morning, however now she had gotten used to it. She knew most of the guards that worked there. Some guards had started working there before she came there 20 something years ago. She knew about them but hadn’t said more than a few words over the last two decades. She said to herself, she wasn’t going to think about that. Today is special. Raju is coming today.

The Theater of Shame!!!

No escapes picture taking madness. Click here for more

2006 Family Events

Joeyachan’s 50th Birthday Party: March 18th
Vallichan’s 60th Birthday: Dec. 12th
Saji and Heidi’s Wedding: July 29th
Jommy’s Wedding: ???
Thanksgiving Party: Nov. 23rd
Christmas Party: Dec. 25th
New year Trip to Europe!!!!: Dec. 31st

Anticipate pics here:)

2005 Annual Family Award

Nomination for following category will be announced soon…

Coolest
Weirdest
Best Dressed
Worst Dressed
Most memorable event
Funniest Event
Worst Even of 2005
Most Helpful family member
Hottest Family Member

And of course

The “Family member of the year”.

Nomination and poll coming soon, followed by the awards.

No Anonymous votes will be accepted!